10 Ways to Keep Children Safer From Sexual Abuse

The world is far too complex to depend upon any one set of safety rules or tips.  This is why we need to assist children to develop a trust in themselves and their inner voice.  I believe that certain essential qualities such as a healthy self esteem, resiliency and good communication skills are the best protection from child sexual abuse.  These skills can be relied upon to protect and guide children in life and in many potentially dangerous situations. 

We need to help children to trust in themselves and to recognise the signs of potential danger and how to respond in the smartest, safest way.  Children who have learnt to trust in their instincts and to maintain a relaxed awareness are far better prepared for any danger they may encounter.

Work first and foremost on building a relationship with your children forged with a strong foundation of love mutual trust and respect.  Then, teaching them the ways of the world and the dangers they may face, will be a natural and worthwhile undertaking

Children raised as part of a healthy family in close company with caring adults should be encouraged to explore and develop their own inner resources and to be aware of their vulnerabilities.  When we establish such an atmosphere for our children we encourage them to develop self-control and self-respect as well as permitting them the personal freedom to cultivate wisdom, imagination, courage, empathy and morality.  

1. Be educated.

Learn about the dangers, about those with whom you leave your children, about your school’s policies, about their friends, their hangouts, your neighbourhood, your friends, your family and any others with whom you entrust your children.

2. Listen to the children in your care.

I mean really listen and empathise with their reality. Listen as if they are your equal – even when they are just babies.  By putting your own views and beliefs aside and just listening to your child, you can become aware of his reality and begin to see the world from his perspective.  The best way to get to know your children is to listen to them.

3. Communicate.

Use every opportunity you can to instigate conversation. Laugh, play, hug, tell stories, connect with, respect, grow, love, trust and learn about each other every day. With communication in its many forms we can tell our child that she is special, appreciated and wanted; that she is missed when separated from you and enjoyed when you are together; that she is significant and extraordinary; and that your love for her is unconditional and unwavering.  Through mindful and compassionate communication you can help your child develop her individuality and creativity and assist her to make wise and resourceful choices in life – and when in danger.

4. Help children develop good self esteem.

Self-respect, self-reliance, emotional intelligence, empathy, intuition, resilience and common sense are all qualities that will improve your child’s safety from sexual abuse 10 fold!.

5. Be proactive in making positive change.

Aim to help all children’s lives become safer and more meaningful.   Help other mothers. Talk about your concerns with others.  If you see an area in your life or in the world where you could make some positive change, instead of complaining about it, challenge yourself, rise to the occasion and find a solution. It could be life changing and even lead you along paths you had never imagined.  Make a commitment to yourself and ask your family to also commit to a life of no complaining.  Take responsibility for your life, for the life of your children and for all life on our planet.

6. Be the best role model you can be.

Model your best behaviour to the children in your life whether they are your own children, grandchildren or friends’ children. They need positive, trusting and loving role models.

7. Trust and respect your children.

That is the best way for them to learn self-respect.  Be an advocate for all children and if you see a child in need, be an advocate for that child and show him that he is cared for and respected and loved by someone. Even if he does not know you, it could change the course of his life if you have the courage to stand up for him.

8. Look for potentially dangerous situations. 

Teach children to maintain a relaxed awareness of their surroundings, to use their intuition to assess the situation and the actions of others. Don’t teach them to look for a potentially dangerous person. As the responsible adult, you should also do the same in order to protect you family and make wise choices for them.

9. Focus on what the child can do. 

Don’t fill their lives with “don’ts” and ominous warnings.

10. Help your child develop a mental plan.

Play the “What would you do, if…” game and talk about your child’s fears and concerns as well as the dangers they may face in a non-fearful and non-threatening manner. This will help them to develop mental plans of action for every scenario you talk about.  So the more situations you talk about, the more prepared they will be!

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10 Ways to Keep Children Safer
from Sexual Abuse

10 Positive Non-violent Ways to
Bring Discipline into Your Home

5 Ways to Talk to Your Children
About Sex to Protect Them from
Sexual Abuse

Fostering Confidence and a Sense
of Self-worth in Children

From Misunderstanding to
Misbehaviour

How to Recognise the Signs of
Sexual Abuse and Trauma

The Smacking Debate & Child
Sexual Abuse

Professor Freda Briggs Keynote
Speech - Wellington 2006

What to do if Your Child Goes
Missing - A Practical Guide

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