Five ways to talk to your children about sex to protect them from sexual abuse.

Don't expect to know all the answers to your children's questions. What you know is a lot less important than how you respond. If you convey that no subject, including sex, is out of bounds in your home, you'll be doing just fine.

Even if you can't overcome your discomfort, don't worry about admitting it to your children. It is okay to say something like: "You know, I'm uncomfortable talking about sex because my parents never talked about it with me. But I want us to be able to talk about anything – including sex – so please come to me if you have any questions. And if I don't know the answer, I'll find out."

1. Educate your children about sexuality and teach them to feel comfortable and confident with their bodies.
A lack of proper sex education may result in your child accepting inappropriate sexual conduct as normal.  Regardless of what we do, our children hear about sex through the media and on the playground and that information may not incorporate the values that we want to instil.  It would be very difficult for your child to feel comfortable approaching you about being touched inappropriately, if they know you feel uncomfortable talking about sex or if you have never spoken to them about sex at all.  

2. Teach your child about issues of sexual abuse.
With very young children, you need to think of ways to explain according to their level of experience.  By this I mean there is no point in talking to them about their “private parts” if they have no understanding of what private means. 

3. Talking about sex does not necessarily need to be a “serious” discussion.
Don’t be afraid to laugh about it.  This may help to alleviate your tension and your children will be relieved that the moment has been lightened by a good giggle – or even a belly laugh!  Make it fun and light hearted. Children want to know all about their parents – balls and all.  Excuse the pun! Dad could even relate a personal story about when he was a young teen and was forced to cover his manhood with his schoolbag after he got an erection on the school bus.  This would surely get everyone laughing and help a young son to realize that what is happening to him is normal and healthy.

4. If a question does arise, it will generally be about a specific point.
This does not necessarily require you to launch into a detailed explanation of all things sexual.  Eventually, you will reach a stage where you can both fit all the pieces together.  This is a far more practical idea than waiting until they have reached sexual maturity and giving them the full unadulterated explanation.

5. A gentle, continuous flow of information should begin as early as possible.
For instance, when teaching your toddler where his nose and toes are, incorporate as a matter of course "and this is your penis" or "this is your vagina". As your child grows, you can add more detail.  In addition, children must have the correct descriptive words in order to properly discuss and understand the “ins and outs” and all things in between, of sexual conduct.

It is our responsibility to let our children know our values about sex. Although they may not ultimately adopt those values, at least they will have benchmarks to consider as they struggle to figure out how they feel and how they ought to behave.  We cannot expect our children to resist what they do not understand. 

Age appropriate sexual education is a vital element in keeping children safe from sexual abuse.  If they do not have adequate sexual education, children are left wide open and vulnerable to be manipulated and/or intimidated by a predator.

The majority of paedophiles prefer children on the brink of puberty, preying on the child’s ignorance and curiosity about sex.  To quote one molester, Give me kid who knows nothing about sex and you’ve given me my next victim”.  Don’t leave such an important issue in the hands of someone else.

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